4/18/11

The doorstep of waiting


To quote Tom Petty "the waiting is the hardest part" and so it is when waiting stops you from living now.

Have you ever lived your life as if your happiness hinged on one thing? A phone call from a boy, a college acceptance letter, a proposal of marriage, a positive pregnancy test, moving into your dream house, finally losing the last ten pounds, finding a profession you're proud to talk about at cocktail parties.

And then that one thing happened (or didn't happen), and that moment of happiness exploded then fizzled and the permanent state eluded you, because now you waited on another hinge, for another thing to happen, thinking that then and only then all would be well. 

I've lived that way. Too many times. For far too long. I've left my joy on the doorstep of waiting.

I can't be happy until... My life will be better when... 

Have you ever decided to stop waiting?  I don't mean forcing something to happen.  I mean letting it be okay that it hasn't happened yet. Deciding you'll no longer live life on doorsteps, as if you are outside of something, waiting to be let in. Finding a way to flourish while living in the in-between place, a room all it's own, a home, as if it's all there will ever be.  Because it is - for now.

3 comments:

  1. Makes me think of Dr. Seuss' Oh The Places You'll Go:

    "You can get so confused that you’ll start in to race down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space, headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.

    The Waiting Place…for people just waiting.

    Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come, or a plane to go or the mail to come, or the rain to go or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow or waiting around for a Yes or No or waiting for their hair to grow. Everyone is just waiting.

    Waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for wind to fly a kite or waiting around for Friday night or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake or a pot to boil, or a Better Break or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants or a wig with curls, or Another Chance. Everyone is just waiting."

    I think there's very few of us who haven't been in the Waiting Place at least once in life.

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  2. I so needed to read this today. These past months have been full of waiting for hopes and dreams to come, and I've had to keep telling myself to just enjoy the now.

    ...find a "way to flourish while living in the in-between place..." Lovely way of putting it. I'll be telling myself this over and over.

    Thanks!

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  3. I love that book by Dr. Seuss. My parents actually gave that to me when I left home for adventures abroad. I'm still waiting to find out all of the places I will go.

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