White girl problems

 *via Coco Rina

I read this blogger recently talking about white girl problems.  I wish I could link back to her but I've gotten lost in the interwebs and it's gone now. But it cracked me up. After a little Google search, I realized (of course) that this phrase is being used all over the place on the internet.

I'm not trying to offend anyone here with racial labels, 'cause that ain't my shtick.  So, you could call it "1st world problems" or "Rich girl problems" or "Affluent people problems" or "American problems", because it's not really about race.  But white girl problems is just funny.  And it sticks in my head and pops back in reminding me when I'm dramatizing something ridiculous, which is lamentably often.  All I need to hear is the phrase "white girl problems" to snap me back into reality.

A few examples of my white girl problems:

Annoying: A necklace with a clasp that could only be operated by an elf with strong fingernails that requires me to ask my husband for help putting it on.
On the bright side: I have a necklace.  I have a husband who can put it on.

Annoying: Car maintenance - bald car tires, inspection sticker overdue by two months, hours spent in Midas waiting room.  Why can't cars regenerate themselves like human bodies?
On the bright side: I have a car.  My own car.  That I do not share with eight other family members. I can afford to maintain it without selling body parts.

Annoying: Tax season.
On the bright side: The miracle that is Turbo Tax online. And I have internet access and a laptop to use it.

Annoying: My house was built in 1982 and perpetually reminds me of that fact with ugly faucets, seashell sinks, popcorn ceilings and brushed brass door knobs, providing me with remodeling projects for the rest of my life if I stay here this long.
On the bright side: Residents of Hong Kong would kill for this square footage.

Annoying: Taking out the trash.
On the bright side: Have trash to take out.  Have trash service to pick it up.  Do not have to scour the dump looking for valuables in trash.

Annoying: Not having a dream job like pretty white girls in rom-coms. Not spending the summer in Provence writing my novel.
On the bright side: I have health insurance and I'm not making a living breaking big rocks into smaller rocks with a hammer.  I have seen people in India doing this, yes it is real. 

So I'm learning to laugh at my white girl problems. Do you have white girl problems too?


  1. Just learned the phrase "first world problems" a couple of weeks ago and love it! Am so thankful too that some of us are starting to realize just how good we have it.

    Had some similar thoughts I just happened to post on my blog today!

  2. Okay, this is hilarious! The part that I love best is the seashell sinks and popcorn ceilings - because I have those, too! And I suppose I could save up and change them out... but, for shame, they are starting to grow on me. What will I complain about if they are gone?

  3. Good post. The no shoes/no feet proverb.

  4. @ Amy B - this is funny. When I read your post today it made me laugh because I thought we must have been on the same wavelength.

    @Brandi - Glad I'm not the only one with the seashell sinks. Totally agree - sometimes you really start to question whether it's even worth changing. Maybe I should just learn to love it. They'll probably be back in style in five years ;-)

  5. AHAHAHA... YES!...having one right now actually...

    Having to return library books before it closes instead of going to bikram yoga.

    Yes, I know "returning library books" only takes a minute. But, I have to make an event of going to the library! hello!

    I just checked out Kerouac & Friends (A Beat Generation Album), Lolita, and Half Broke Horses.

    I'm also annoyed that my kashmir green chai latte is all gone. :(

  6. Haha - Yep, I'm always having 'white girl problems' ... you probably wouldn't believe the tiny things that irritate me throughout each day.

    It's nice to know I'm not alone.

  7. Ah, I hate to admit how many of these "problems" I tend to have!

  8. This list is great...and so true!!! A healthy dose of perspective is the best cure for the blues out there!!