I was reading Katie's Pencil Box recently... She is a lovely, multi-facted lady, with a blog much more popular than mine, and happens to be pregnant. Her gentle, short post was musing on something personal and had a small aside about the baby and the change to come.
The very first comment on her post said it seemed as if she was becoming a "mommy blogger" and they hoped she wouldn't lose all the other aspects of herself and that her blog wouldn't be taken over by too much about babies. And as I read this comment that I felt was a bit invasive I stiffened - defensively for this sweet blogger, but also for myself.
It was as if the moniker of mommy blogger was an insult, not to mention that the commentor assumed that if she wrote "too much" about things related to mommyhood, that meant she was losing other parts of herself.
I stiffened, because pregnancy, this transition into motherhood, has swallowed me up. I have "baby brain" as some call it, and I'm completely occupied with getting ready and anticipation. It is both a joy and at times a little frustrating and frightening heading into the unknown as I wonder when I will get my old self back or if I ever will or what my new self will be like.
But it is not a crime to be swallowed up! It is a phase of life - a natural one, a beautiful one, and a short-lived one. I'm in this phase and there's nothing to be done but walk through it. And I choose to embrace it and make the most of it, even if my life seems to suddenly, drastically change.
It doesn't mean I'm losing myself, but exploring some new frontier of myself, broadening my territory, and perhaps, for a time, it might make me seem obssessed or imbalanced - like many explorers of the past - mapping new lands, traveling uncharted ground requires such extremes. But it does not mean I will not return to balance in due time.
Am I a mommy blogger? Will I ever be? Heck if I know. But am I a blogger going through an acute case of pending mommyhood? Guilty as charged. It's my life and this is the phase I'm in, and I think that should be okay.
It is completely and totally OK - but you knew I would say that. You will find a balance, eventually - and in the grand scheme of life, it will take you a short time to do so. Be swallowed - you've waited a long time for this!
ReplyDeleteThe thing is that practically all blogers I've observed who happened to get pregnant or deliver a child have a slight (or complete) tendency to gravitate towards these matters but, as you've said, it's who you are at the moment, it's sth that makes your life and ocuppies you in this stage of life. Being oneself can't be wrong! It simply can't! I'm a mum of three who started blogging when my elder sons were 3 and 5. Last year I had another baby-boy and, OF COURSE, my universe sucked the little one in. And, naturally, it just had to show! Motherhood changes everything, in a good and in a bad way. You
ReplyDeletere just NOT the same person anymore. It makes you grow as a person and makes you learn who you are. And learnigs is at timews a difficult and/or painfull process. You are changed and so is your blog! No one, absolutely no one to blame. The commenting person you've mentioned is sb without kids! I can bet on that.All the best to you! Gosia
Good for you! I never understand people who judge other bloggers ... we can do whatever we like with our virtual homes!
ReplyDeleteTo Thine Own Self Be True! Always write what you love and what is true to you. Those always make the best blogs to read! :)
ReplyDelete