How I'm feeling physically:
I have a litany of symptoms that don't make me miserable but contribute to a state of weirdness or discomfort. Pardon the TMI, but for those of you who are pregnant and wondering if any else has your ailment, I will be honest. I have occasional bouts with: Waking every hour to pee or change positions at night. Hip and back pain at night. Tailbone pain (probably sciatica). Nosebleeds. Heartburn. Constipation. Hemorrhoids. Tiredness. Nap urges. Breathlessness. Lower stamina. Braxton Hicks contractions.
While that sounds like quite a list, I'm doing okay! It's not day and night misery, but I definitely feel like instead of being my normal self with a bump, things have shifted.
How I'm feeling emotionally:
This shift of the last few weeks has taken me by surprise. I'm still mentally adjusting. I've also been feeling a return of the moodiness of the first trimester, which is why I'm blogging less. I don't feel high energy or motivated. I just want to curl up under the covers. But man, I better get some nesting energy soon, because I have so much to do!
My husband and I have narrowed down our list of prospective names to 3! I'm so excited! And no, I'm not telling anyone, anyone at all.
A couple of my friends are planning to throw baby showers for me and I feel so blessed and excited! Something to look forward to in the weeks to come.
I've received some classic insults from a male pregnancy meanie who I will fail to identify here. A few selections. "Wow. Even your face is getting round." Followed by "What have you been doing besides sitting around gaining weight?" And "Your front is almost as big as the back now." It's intriguing. I've only had one other person give me this kind of harassment and he was also male. I'm curious if this is a male chauvinist old-school thing.
I love that I met two friends for lunch last week and they said "You look great." Because here's the thing, whether I actually look great or not, I don't care. I just love that I have the kind of women friends who "get it", who know what I need and are so kind to encourage me.
Last week was a down spot for me. I failed my one hour Glucose Tolerance Test (a first level screening test for Gestational Diabetes). Which meant I had to take a 3 hour test - going into the lab in the morning on an empty stomach to drink a mega dose of sugar and then not eat anything for 3 hours, while they took my blood 4 times.
So after the nurse called me with the first test results, I cried. Then I called my mom and cried. Then when my husband came home from work I cried. I'd like to blame it on hormones, but it's not just that. I realized that when I go to the doctor, I feel tense, like they're about to tell me something's wrong OR I'm DOING something wrong. My recurring fear is that I've gained too much weight, and gestational diabetes can be related to that, so that pushed my buttons. I've developed a "pass-fail" relationship with the medical industry, as if they're a teacher giving me a grade. I have a fear of losing control to them, of them being an authority looking down their nose at me, that doesn't allow me to question or have free will. Some of my fears are rational, but others are illogical and I'm trying to sort through all that.
The good news is that I took my 3 hour glucose tolerance test today. I'd been dreading it. But I did it. And it wasn't as awful as I was afraid it would be. I came, I saw, I conquered! Now I'm just waiting for the results.