I never thought it would happen to me... Blogger's block. How arrogant of me, by the way. But while I fully intended to start blogging again this week, my blogger's mind is mostly a blank. I'm going through transitions, and I know transitions often demand extra energy, leaving me without fuel for this fire. But it's a little bit frightening, this feeling, wondering if/when I will go back to feeling myself again.
The illogical side of me feels I am somehow letting myself down, failing to follow through. While the logical side of me points out that I am not a pro-blogger and there are not anxious people pacing rooms awaiting the delivery of my next words.
I love blogging, but I'm afraid I sometimes start to see blogging as life, rather than life as life. I'm not quitting blogging, yet in times like these I wonder if perhaps I should. I wonder if it diverts my energy away from other pursuits, passions or needs - or merely living in the moment. But the very thought of quitting blogging is like "Noooooo, I cannot do that!" And then I wonder why.
Why am I so afraid to quit? Why do I somehow think my life would be less if I quit? Or that I'd be letting go of something critical? Is this just an archaic idea I'm carrying around in my head from the good old days when I thought it was possible (for me) to make money from my blog or build a business or some what not? Why do I still let that old ghost haunt me when I've already decided it's nothing but a hot airbag? Old ghosts are hard to let go.
Ponderances. Which is not a word, by the way, but should be.
So for now I'm going to float a little while longer in the place where I'm at, waiting for nature's cycles to switch from ebb to flow.
Sometimes that's what you gotta do.
ReplyDeleteanyjazz (Thinks Happen)
To be fair to your logic, I like what you blog. I don't think it's useless, especially when people read and think about what you wrote. Writer's block makes me feel like what I am doing with blogging is pointless, but when I start up again and the creative flow comes back, I feel much better.
ReplyDeleteI think 'ponderances' is a really good word! I also think that you have to go with your instinct and run away when you feel the need to. I've noticed that with all the blogs I read that it happens to their author now and again, some more often than others but we understand and it makes us appreciate them even more...and just when we're really missing them too much, and wonder when they are coming back, and what they've been up to, they come back refreshed and full of lots to tell us about...
ReplyDelete...enjoy floating...we'll be here when you come back down to earth...(unless we're floating off somewhere too....but I'm sure you'll wait for us...
:o)
You have to do whatever you feel is right.
ReplyDeleteThat said, I for one enjoy your Blog very much and don't feel you're wasting your time even though this is not an income generating venture... I've found Blogging to have many merits I never dreamed of when I stepped gingerly into it's realm with my Grandson's encouragement. I've connected to so many Kindred Spirits, other Artists and Writers through the Land Of Blog. It has been a welcome release of all of the interests I wanted to have a Journal and Journey with even if nobody ever read or saw it... I was actually amazed that people did enjoy what I enjoyed and reading my random musings. I still find it to be something I'm thoroughly enjoying... but if some day I no longer have any Joy and nothing else to say *highly unlikely, winks, I always have something to say, LOL* I think that I would also ponder on whether or not to continue.
I hope you have a Peace about whatever decision you make. Give yourself a little respite, the inspiration is likely to return, every Writer and Artist has their lapses in inspiration and motivation, its a natural ebb and flow of creative energy. I await your next Post... as I pace to and fro waiting on it... *Smiles*
Dawn... The Bohemian
We are sharing a similar space- and I have also considered stepping away. It's interesting how being blocked has forced me to live life differently, away from the internet, without the pressures to post something thoughtful. There is some guilt- but perhaps not as much since the block is so unintentional. I've considered creating something entirely different- almost like shedding my skin to allow for new growth and change- perhaps a simple photo blog.
ReplyDeleteI love the word ponderances- and today I've decided that I will ponder these options or I will just stay in the moment and see what happens next- either way I know I can't force this- which requires me to have faith and to trust- these times may also be a period of preparation, a time to "sharpen the saw" as we draw closer to a new and exciting path-
I'm so glad you dropped by and led me back to this space- it's good to have company during these times!
I totally understand where you're coming from. I used to blog regularly about 5 year ago - before "average" people were blogging for me - when it was just fun. At that time it was a form of escapism for me while I was busy with graduate school, family issues, and boyfriend drama. I simply sat around my house blogging as if I didn't have anything better to do.
ReplyDeleteNow with blogging the way it is today - and all of my former issues over or resolved - I find so much joy in it as I find inspiration on all of my favorite blogs. (Yours being one of my faves and I LOVE the name of your blog, too!!!). I find blogging to be motivating instead of an escape.
I hope you do stick around because I am one of those people pacing the room awaiting your next post.
xox
~ Harmony
* I meant "before average people were blogging for money" ... oy, I was in such a rush! :)
ReplyDelete