Escape from the land of "shoulds"
This week I wrote about 2011 being the year of doing less and saying goodbye to my list of "shoulds". Well, this applies to my blog too. The sad truth is I've felt tired of blogging lately and it's mostly because of the expectations I impose on myself, a nasty little list of shoulds. I have tried many times to free myself from this list of shoulds, but they keep coming back.
I should... post a predefined number of times a week, and post something extraordinary and exciting and dazzling. It doesn't matter whether it's what I want to post, it should be something I think people will like.
I should use my own photographs. And I should be a good photographer.
I should be visiting and commenting on other blogs all the time and aggressively developing relationships with fellow bloggers. I should be ambitious about my blog. I should be committed. I should act like it's a business.
All these shoulds can smother the freedom and joy of blogging, and I've been struggling with them for awhile. I keep trying to cut the cords - unsuccessfully. So I want to redefine my relationship with this blogging pastime. I don't want to swallow the culture of blog-land lock, stock, and barrel. What makes for a brilliant blog may not make for a wonderful life. And I don't want to confuse the two.
I'm tired of the oppressive need for the new. New outfits, new rooms, new finds, new crafts, new books, new ideas. There is nothing wrong with new. But I'm tired of the speed of it all, the demands.
I'm tired of "doing" and "consuming". I want to "be" more. And guess what? "Being" can be dull to blog about. This leads to a sense of guilt and shame - isn't my life boring if I have nothing exciting to blog about? But where do I get this idea from? Who says our lives "should" constantly be exciting and new at a constant bracing speed? Isn't that a dangerous expectation?
I think what it comes down to is that the blogging culture and pressures and rules I feel immersed in are just not a good fit with where I'm at and what I want in life right now.
So there's going to be some changes... I'm escaping from the land of shoulds!
What I want to blog about in 2011:
Writing - my journey as a writer trying to get published.
Books and movies - as I'm inspired.
Philosophical musings - these just happen, I can't help it.
And the things I've been afraid to write about, but where I really hope to inspire and help others. One being my own struggles with growing older and losing my rose colored glasses - endometriosis and growing and grieving through the loss of my dreams around motherhood.
Bits of beauty here and there - it might be visual inspiration, craft, fashion, style, decor, food, but this is as I feel inspired and not the focus.
And I want to blog as I'm inspired. Not on a schedule. I'm burning the shoulds.
And while that bonfire is crackling, I'm going to be on a blog break for at least two weeks.
I wish all of you a Happy New Year! And the bravery to finally do that thing that's been nagging at you for a long time...