12/21/11

26 weeks



Me, playing with the camera. Sometimes I like the outtakes better. I'm 26 weeks tomorrow. So let's just call this my 26 weeks post. 


How I'm feeling physically:
It's hard to complain. Other than some discomfort at night, heartburn when I eat spicy foods, and breathlessness that seems to strike at random times, I have no physical complaints. Still struggling with the feeling of getting huge, even though, objectively speaking, I think I'm normal. I went to my 24 week appointment and everything is A-OK.

How I'm feeling emotionally:
A bit restless lately in an in-between place. Still 14 weeks before my due date. Sometimes it seems like for-ever, so very far away, and then I have a sudden insight into how close it is and I think I shouldn't be so laid back and as I vacillate between those two perspectives, I'm not sure what to do with myself. Do I rush out and buy a crib next week? Do I clear out the garage? Or do I do something fun and escapist while I still can? I have visions of taking on the world and having everything in perfect order before the baby comes, but I have little motivation to get out and tackle the garage. I've also been missing writing. The books I've been getting from the library have been disappointing me and I find my mind wandering back to characters I've created.

I've also been struck lately by the "will I be a good enough parent" panic. I believe I'll be a good nurturer and caretaker to this little one, but I think about education, preparation for the real world, adulthood, emotional and character foundations - all those things that are challenges every human faces and I think about my little baby, wishing he could just leap right over them with super-human strength that I could somehow endow him with, that he wouldn't feel the pains common to humanity. The truth is, I have no super-human perfection to pass along. No one does. I have to just do the best I can, and watch and pray and hope and love as he grows.


Highlights:

  • My favorite is still the little moments, when baby gets super active. I love to feel him move around.
  • Chatting with one of my good friends about all those nagging things like baby feeding and sleeping techniques and philosophies.
  • Buying my diaper bag! I know. I am such a girl, okay? But it was a big deal to me. I spent hours looking around online before I found just the one I wanted. I debated on whether I wanted one that was super fun and screamed "diaper bag", but in the end I decided to go with one that could pass as a purse instead. I figure if I'm going to make a quick grocery store run, I can throw my wallet and keys into the diaper bag and still have all the baby stuff, but not look like I'm carrying a diaper bag. We'll see how all my little theories pan out in real life. ;-)

5 comments:

  1. Gosh it's gone so fast...you look amazing and I'm sure you'll be a perfect mum.

    One thing I used to do when I was pregnant with Hannah (you probably already do this) is read aloud...she learned to read before going to school and graduated this year with a literature Degree...I feel convinced that I stimulated an interest in reading to my little bundle before she was even born.

    Have an amazing Christmas...all three of you...life is wonderful...
    Lots of love,
    Debx Oh and congratulations on the diaper bag...hope it works well for you...

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  2. I think that based on your concern about parenting shows that you are going to make an excellent mother!

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  3. Hmmm, Good idea Debby. Do you think the baby would enjoy Jane Austen?

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  4. I had a huge meltdown the night before I had my baby, thinking I was going to be the worst mother ever!

    I love your diaper bag! I think you made a smart choice!
    I bought a traditional diaper bag but then I also found a purse that has this huge pocket on the front. It can hold a couple of diapers, wipes, burpcloth\changing pad and a onesie.

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  5. Love the diaper bag...things sure have changed since the early 70's...let's not go there...You look beautiful and you need to take it a day at a time...Just follow your instincts...they will guide you well...somehow our kids survive us and there will always be mistakes but it is the larger picture that is the end result...yours will be just fine...Enjoy every second of the pregnancy..good & bad...I would give anything to go back and experience that time... There is nothing like it...

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