On the topic of Maybe Motherhood

Maybe Motherhood is a term I'm playing around with to describe an experience I've been going through the last eight years of my life - wanting to be a mother, but waiting to start a family, not sure if it will ever come to fruition, with fertility problems from endometriosis to boot. Trying to learn to live in the now and the maybe and the in-between.  Busting through pre-conceived expectations about what my life would be.  Striving to believe that no matter what happens, there is hope for a beautiful life.

I've wanted to connect with - and hopefully encourage, inspire and bring hope to - other women going through a similar experience on this blog.  I didn't know how to balance it because I didn't want this blog to be "all about" maybe motherhood and I didn't want me to be all about it either. I refuse to be defined or limited by it, as some kind of label or box.  That's been part of my quest since I started blogging on Bohemian Season, to broaden my horizons and expand my view of my life, beyond limits I put on myself.

I've been turned off by blogs where women make becoming mothers their sole focus seemingly to the detriment of all else.  I don't want to knock those women - I admire their vulnerability in putting raw emotion and experience out there, but when it turns whining, depressing, bitter - it's just not the place where I want to live in my soul.  There's stuff about maybe motherhood that just plain sucks, but I want to connect with people who are trying to find the blue skies and rainbows even in the clouds. At the end of this experience I want to be a more hopeful and well-rounded person, rather than a more jaded and narrow one.  

Since I've been reluctant to talk about maybe motherhood, I haven't been able to make that connection.  So, here goes... I'm stepping out, being brave, sharing my heart on something I've been afraid to.  You'll see me blogging about it a bit more - maybe once a week.

Don't let that scare you off, even if it's not your own experience!  I want to bring hope and light to women going through this, but I also want to extend sisterhood to all women.  I think we should share our experiences, but I hate seeing women divided into opposing camps.   So just know that's my goal and spirit as I share my experience, and if you have any friends going through the same, point them in my direction!


  1. What a heartfelt post Valerie, I'm pleased you posted x

  2. Thank you for being open and sharing your struggles! Although we haven't started trying yet, I spent my 20s and early 30s focusing on my career, and now that I'm ready, I'm aware of the challenges I'll likely face. I hope you post more about this, and I look forward to hearing about your efforts. I'll be sending you lots of fertility vibes! I also think that everything happens for a reason, and you seem like an amazing person who will be equally as amazing whether you become a mother or not.


  3. "I want to connect with people who are trying to find the blue skies and rainbows even in the clouds."

    I'm not near maybe motherhood yet, but I so admire your perspective on finding the blue skies in the clouds. Thank you for stepping out and posting this.

  4. Thanks for the comments and encouragement to open up! Melissa -thanks for saying you will be equally amazing whether you become a mother or not. Golden words.

  5. Ah, it must be heartfelt Post day my Friend as I found myself there today too and shared a bit of my Heart and Soul. Your Post touched me... and I'm glad you are finding a form of hopeful and positive expression about a circumstance that can also be uncomfortable and painful at times. It is not easy to be transparent and vulnerable about Life's adversities and challenges... and broaden our Horizons while dealing with the issues of Life. You do it in such a similar way that I do that I certainly feel we are Kindred Spirits... even though our experiences differ and so I don't necessarily have a point of reference to what you are up against any more than you have a point of reference as to what I'm up against. But is is my Hope for you that the outcome of your experience will be one you have a Peace about in your Spirit either way... and that perhaps Maybe Motherhood will bloom into Motherhood for you as you travel on this Journey.

    A Big Bohemian Hug... Dawn... The Bohemian