*via Althena Glow
Maybe Motherhood is a term I'm playing around with to describe an experience I've been going through the last eight years of my life - wanting to be a mother, but waiting to start a family, not sure if it will ever come to fruition, with fertility problems from endometriosis to boot. Trying to learn to live in the now and the maybe and the in-between. Busting through pre-conceived expectations about what my life would be. Striving to believe that no matter what happens, there is hope for a beautiful life.
I've wanted to connect with - and hopefully encourage, inspire and bring hope to - other women going through a similar experience on this blog. I didn't know how to balance it because I didn't want this blog to be "all about" maybe motherhood and I didn't want me to be all about it either. I refuse to be defined or limited by it, as some kind of label or box. That's been part of my quest since I started blogging on Bohemian Season, to broaden my horizons and expand my view of my life, beyond limits I put on myself.
I've been turned off by blogs where women make becoming mothers their sole focus seemingly to the detriment of all else. I don't want to knock those women - I admire their vulnerability in putting raw emotion and experience out there, but when it turns whining, depressing, bitter - it's just not the place where I want to live in my soul. There's stuff about maybe motherhood that just plain sucks, but I want to connect with people who are trying to find the blue skies and rainbows even in the clouds. At the end of this experience I want to be a more hopeful and well-rounded person, rather than a more jaded and narrow one.
Since I've been reluctant to talk about maybe motherhood, I haven't been able to make that connection. So, here goes... I'm stepping out, being brave, sharing my heart on something I've been afraid to. You'll see me blogging about it a bit more - maybe once a week.
Don't let that scare you off, even if it's not your own experience! I want to bring hope and light to women going through this, but I also want to extend sisterhood to all women. I think we should share our experiences, but I hate seeing women divided into opposing camps. So just know that's my goal and spirit as I share my experience, and if you have any friends going through the same, point them in my direction!