For the love of Babies
The film Babies is a gutsy viewing selection if you are struggling with issues of "maybe motherhood" like I am. "Maybe motherhood" is my new term for infertility. I think it's less clinical and better describes the true state of it - because it is the maybe-ness of it that is the hardest part if you're a control freak like me!
I have wanted to see Babies ever since I saw the trailer. My husband and I are fans of documentaries and this one seemed so simple and charming. But I had to be in the right frame of mind. It took awhile, but that moment came recently and we streamed it on Netflix and I was able to love the film as it deserves. It's great to watch a movie with so little dialogue and plot that is just a simple expression of the most basic and beautiful beginnings of life. So much fun to see these four babies begin to explore their worlds in such radically different places and families and cultures (San Francisco, Mongolia, Africa, and Japan).
And while I did feel a twinge or two of sadness as I watched it, I also felt joy and a strange realization. It made me happy to know that all around us, all around the world, at all times, babies are being born and somewhere out there, they are being loved and smiling their first smile and taking their first steps. Just because I don't have one myself, doesn't mean that this flow of life and joy is halted.
It's funny how egocentric we can be as human beings - the experiences of our own lives sometimes eclipse other realities. And all the things I have loved about babies since I was a girl, the things that delight my heart, these things carry on even if not directly with me. It's an important notion - because even if I was to have a baby of my own the "baby" experience would not last forever.
So the question is, can I love babies and take joy in them without having one of my own? And the answer is I hope so, no matter what happens with my own "maybe motherhood".