Hello December

December comes with unexpected baggage.

You see, I'm having surgery for endometriosis soon.  I've known I've had this condition for many years, but it's come on like a nasty beast lately and now something must be done and fast.  And I'm a little bit frightened and sad and dreading.  It's more than a physical thing - it's emotional.  It teeters dangerously close to the cliff of one of my deepest rooted dreams - to have children.  But the surgery must be done. Here goes.

I'm the kind of crazy person who likes to plan everything out.  To be in control of everything.  To accomplish things.  Holidays are particularly problematic for people like me. And now, my body comes along and teaches me my own foolishness.

This December leaves me in a humbled state, with less grand expectations. Just letting things be as they are and trying to learn to believe that sometimes less is more and sometimes simple is good enough.

I will...

• Probably blog quite a bit less
• Try to write when I can
• Rest in the love of family and friends
• Not bother too much with cooking and cleaning
• Have a simple holiday
• Trust in God's grace
• Keep crocheting.
• Paint my nails a pretty color for the hospital - I'm thinking pop art pink.
• Watch way too many movies.
• I'll probably re-re-read some of my favorite classics I'm collecting.  These Penguin Classics hardcovers are brilliant - addictive if you love books and beautiful design. I'm currently parading through Pride and Prejudice.  Little Women will be next - I love the cover with scissors on the front - an allusion that's obvious to anyone who loves the book. I want to collect all of the ones by Jane Austen and the Brontes.
• Oh... and I can't forget the one year anniversary of my blog!