Bon voyage foodie love

Recently I wrote about discovering I don't love some things as much as I used to, and that I'm changing. To be more specific, here's one of the things happening:
I love to cook and bake. I would say that still hasn't changed. When I'm hungry, I absolutely enjoy a delicious, fresh, well-prepared meal. But I'm finding that otherwise, I don't want to think about or look at or read about food all the time anymore. Part of this has come up in the process of blogging because I imagined that I'd be writing more about food, but I haven't been inspired to. And as I follow other blogs, I'm finding I have no desire to read about food right now.

To the degree that I'm giving myself freedom to eat what I want when I want (this includes Haagen Dazs, cupcakes, popcorn, french fries, etc.), I'm losing my intense interest in food. There is some kind of relationship between food restriction and food obsession. And now that I'm not restricting, I'm not obsessing.

I knew that people with eating disorders, starving or on diets tend to think about food all the time - for instance, reading cookbooks just for fun. Listen to this video from Josielenore for a little more insight.

But I've been surprised and didn't anticipate the effect this would have on me. It's a little unsettling. I can't help but wonder if my love for food and cooking was genuine or if it was a side effect of an unhealthy body perception and restriction? I also feel sad at saying goodbye to my interest in the foodie world. It was something that defined me and lit my fire. And right now it just doesn't.

Later this year I wanted to take a hard core cooking class to explore my interest in all things gourmet and figure out if I want to pursue a dedicated foodie life. But now, I've found there's no need. The answer just leaped from my unconscious and presented itself and it is taking me awhile to process it.

I'm not certain this is a forever goodbye to foodie love. It may re-emerge in new ways, like green shoots from the ground in the spring. But right now, it's definitely being packed away in winter storage.

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